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JENIFA’S DIARY METAMOPHOSING THE LIFES OF O.O.U BABES

 I woke up early on the 23rd of May, 2016 just to get myself prepared for Labour law class. I could recall the last time I rose up from my mouka foam early; it was 6:00am, but 23rd of May was a different day. Labour law is a course I take important and sacrosanct, if I am not fully prepared for the class, then I might just be Mr Leigh’s reader and he will also make sure that all his questions does not elude me.
  I rose up to observe my ritual as I have been performing it from my first day on campus. I took my oral-B toothpaste to brush my teeth, in the course of doing this, I heard a colleen said “I loss you because your love dey do my heart gbangbanjigijigi” I thought I was on another planet but I was still seeing my chief tenant’s water reservoir before me, so I conjectured have been possessed with the spirit of clairvoyance because I could not envisage a university undergraduate constructing sentences like an Artisan who never had any form of formal education so I decided to move to the other side of the water reservoir not knowing that a ‘bimbo’ was the mastermind of this sentence that makes me forget all the intimidation of Mr Leigh’s class. Then, the bimbo gave me another clout bomb ‘lemme service you’. I know if this kind of bomb is being launch in a state, it might cause another heroshima or tsunami. So I decided to move closer to the babe just to correct her that her sentences were erroneously constructed. I greeted her with a warm smile, saying good morning, she also reciprocated with a charming smile which later appears to be a gothic one, saying ‘hi, goods morning, how is you? Who is you?’ then I realised that this babe’s English can intoxicate me because it is said that it takes two to tangle. So, I decided to be a teacher who is willing to teach this babe the correct constructions. 
 I was interested in knowing her well, in the course of the conversations I got to know that her discipline is English language. I felt like ‘necklacing’ her then I said to myself ‘kilode’. Suddenly, she started using phonetics to speak, that was when our status was swapped, she became the teacher and I immediately turn to her student. Her English was so fluent, she speaks as if she was born and brought up in England and asking where she got all that bad English from might sound like a clincher to my curiosity. Then she told me she saw an episode of jenifa’s diary in a friend’s house last night. I was hearing the opera for the first time. I immediately end the conversation with the babe but did not forget to get her contact. So, after putting on my starched white shirt, got to the junction where I took a bus to P.S. I sat with three 100level babes who were also discussing the same opera in the bus. I was battered with grammars which were even worse to the one of the colleen I encountered earlier in the day. (grammars like ; anything bird eat na him go carry fly, abeg please don’t sold it I will brought the money, look me in the eye is me mumu?, the time I want to buy this thing, shebi you said you are broken.
  I was speechless and what all this babes don’t know is that it takes 21days to adopt an habit, if they should continue with it for 21days, then it will only take Queen’s premier (vol. 1-3) to reset them to default. Osu babes, you don’t have second chance to create first impression. Please leave jenifa alone with her style because she is making money from it and you all are making mess of yourself.
SamGeorge.

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